The North Korean Cretin Problem

I was watching “The Fox News Specialists” show just now and the subject turned to the North Korean problem.

The regular panel this night was Ebony Williams, Kat Timpf and Lisa Booth filling in for Eric Bolling. The two “specialists” were Col. David Hunt (who twice voted for Barack Obama, ‘nuf said) and Krystal Ball whose parents apparently had a droll sense of humor.

The North Korea problem was booted about like a well-worn soccer ball with the usual caveats; sanctions and diplomacy are the only solutions, there is no military solution, sanctions and diplomacy will not work. A show devoid of all logic and any practical knowledge repeating a tired mantra that basically says Kimmy has won without firing a shot.

Let me state here that I believe that the military option is the only solution left to us now and let me explain to you why.

The pudgy, malformed miscreant that tortures and kills his own people must go and a suitable government must be put in his place that will bring North Korea into the 21st century to live among the nations of the world without having the big boom-booms and threatening everyone every day when his diaper rash flares up. That this is the goal is, I think, not disputed by anyone except Dennis Rodman. The disagreements come in the details as to how we get to this desired outcome.

The conventional wisdom says that North Korea has a huge army of one million men and 13,000 artillery pieces along the 160 mile long DMZ. Col. David Hunt says, probably correctly, that the North Korean bedlamite would have about six to eight minutes of warning in the best case scenario even if we went at his artillery with everything we have. During this six minute window he would launch as many 170 mm shells and 240 mm rockets as he could at Seoul and Tokyo and probably at any other targets he thought he could hit with any weapons of consequence including his fledgling missile program. We would ultimately prevail and take him out but the cost would be horrendous in lives and damage and therefore there is nothing we can do except talk about this all day, every day. So much for the conventional wisdom.

This camp thinks we should isolate him and let sanctions work their magic. There are a few issues with taking this track though. First, sanctions are notoriously hard to get in place and even harder to keep in place without some nation or entity cheating. Second, even if we could get the Chinese to do everything we wanted in the way of sanctions and we got all the other nations of the world to join in and isolate North Korea completely, removing Crazy Kimmy from every Christmas card list, what would the result be? Wouldn’t the short sumo, on that fateful day when he opens the cupboard to find his last can of Spam, unleash the same rain of destruction down upon all of the objects of his fear and loathing? Instead are we supposed to believe that Lil Kim’s heart will grow three sizes this day and he will realize the error of his ways and hold Christmas in his heart all the days of the year? Are we expected to believe that he’s going to hold a tearful press conference and announce he has seen the light and that he realizes he’s been a nasty bastard these last several years but he has changed his ways now and all will be well? This isn’t some Dickensian novel or Hallmark movie of the week; this is the real world with a real psychotic despot who will cling to his evil ways until the bitter end lashing out at everyone and taking as many with him as he can.

Further, this imbues the pudgy puke with a huge advantage; he can engage in the violence he craves at the time of his choosing and not on our schedule. Will he react on day twenty of the sanctions regime or will it be day fifty or day one-twenty? Who knows? Why give him the option of initiating his war on his schedule?

I do not long for war and I argued years ago that we should have excised this particular pustule before it grew to septicemic proportions. Instead we had a president who was more concerned with who was under his desk than what was under Punggye-ri Mountain. When the tiny madman’s daddy began making noise and threatening to pull out of the NPT (non-proliferation treaty) Bubba sent the pusillanimous peanut farmer over to put the fear of Neville Chamberlain into him. What happened was the midget miscreant stuffed Jimmy Peanuts into his locker and took his lunch money. We ended up sending fuel oil as well as aid to build two new light-water nuclear reactors in exchange for certain “promises” from the North Koreans. The can had successfully been kicked down the road and right into the next president’s situation room and Bubba could get back to intern selection and private training. In return the North Koreans promised to not pursue bomb and missile technology and it was “peace in our time”. A shining success of diplomacy that finally showed those knuckle-dragging vulgarians that war was not the answer. Apparently though Kim with the good hair had his fingers crossed behind his back as he made these promises because one day in October of 2006 seismometers at the USGS detected the signature rumblings of an underground nuclear test and the North Koreans subsequently confirmed that the test of the nuke they didn’t have was a success. The idiots that brokered this “deal” such as it was, raced to the TV cameras to express their shock and astonishment that the North Koreans had cheated. It was like Captain Renault in Casablanca; “I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.”

A couple of points related to our current conundrum….

  1. It seems to me that it is unacceptable that North Korea be allowed to continue down this path. It also seems that if talking was to be the answer then the question would not need to be asked. We have talked and talked over and over to no avail. There were “talks” from 1996 to 2000 and the famous “Six Party Talks” spanned from 2003 to 2009 with Russia, China, South Korea, Japan and the US and none of this talking bore any fruit. Try not to let this destroy your confidence in brutal dictatorial regimes but sometimes, every little once in a while, they lie.
  2. What if we wake one day and Chubby with the Moe haircut announces that he has smuggled a nuke into the US and it is in one of our cities? Realize here that he doesn’t actually need to do the smuggling part. All he needs is to be convincing and plausible enough in his claim. What do we do then? I fear there would be many who would advocate that we give him what he wants in the hope that he would let us live. Others would no doubt blame President Trump for letting this happen and not doing something about this. Overall there would be stampedes and massive unrest in the cities as this info got out to the public.
  3. China must help. China helped in a big way to create this madman and therefore they must be told in plain English that we intend to remove this hornet’s nest one way or the other. Since we will be forced to use the military option it is going to be messy and noisy in their neck of the woods for a little while and they might see blinding flashes of light on the eastern horizon from time to time. If they want to get some sound sleep it would behoove them to help us out in every way they can lest the noise and bright lights continue and the angry swarm sting them as well.
  4. North Korea is much more a paper tiger than a real one. Dennis Rodman’s BFF’s military has no spare parts, limited fuel and will not fight to the extent many think they will. While they reflexively salute the kook and pledge allegiance to his plumpness, when the feces strike the whirling blades will they really fight on to the bitter end for a man that has starved their families and reduced their country to a dusty vacant lot? And if they do choose to fight for the porky pervert how hard can it be to kill skinny, hungry soldiers who can’t move their tanks because the gas gauge reads 빈  (empty)? They will know that every piece of their ancient equipment that breaks or gets broken will not be replaced and that there are no reinforcements coming to their aid. The country is isolated and has no industry to speak of. They do manufacture their own small arms ammunition but even this requires components from the outside world and the 7.62X39, while a fine cartridge for infantrymen, is hardly the proper medicine against supersonic bombers and armored vehicles.
  5. A fierce, overwhelming, properly timed and coordinated strike that pummels all of his artillery as well as the attendant cannoneers; simultaneously shatters his missile program and levels his residences would decapitate the regime and stall any response. His air force is a joke and his navy is the punchline. The aircraft will burn on the ground and the submarines may as well be named the “Seaview” since they will voyage to the bottom of the sea. Missile and nuclear research programs buried under mountains will be buried under mountains, permanently. The proper munitions can and will seal the entrances to these sites and the folks trying to clear the doorways will not be able to get their life insurance renewed. Tanks full of liquid rocket fuel stored at launch sites make conspicuous targets that create very satisfying fireballs when hit with even small munitions. Once the rest of fat boy’s generals smell the burning flesh they will put an end to this affair and sue for peace immediately. I have to believe that at least one of them is somewhat sane over there and completely fed up with this crackpot’s craziness. Lil Kim’s penchant for murdering friends, family, colleagues and subordinates in cruel and brutal ways at his caprice for insignificant reasons including his entertainment puts the survivors on edge. He may think his reign of terror has ensured his safety but these actions only buy fraudulent loyalty. “Could I be next?” definitely runs through the minds of his underlings each and every day. One of them will surely give him two in the hat and roll him in the palace carpet if he has not already assumed room temperature.

In conclusion I think that now there is no easy, pleasant solution thanks to the nonfeasance of Monica’s boyfriend but there is a solution nonetheless and it is entirely workable.

Further, there is the added benefit that if President Trump did whack the whacko the rest of the world would seriously think twice and maybe more before ever provoking the US again. That is not a bad thing.

The doctrine of “More rubble, less trouble” works every time it’s tried.

It may be ugly but there it is; as shocking as the first sober light shining on the girl you met last night.

“War is the remedy that our enemies have chosen, and I say let us give them all they want.”

William Tecumseh Sherman